62 Thoughts You Have in Yoga Class

I wonder what Jennifer Aniston eats for breakfast?

May 20, 2014

1. I feel extra bad when I'm late for yoga. It's like I'm thwarting someone's spiritual awakening.
2. I wonder if the yoga teacher is annoyed.
3. Do yoga teachers GET annoyed?
4. Downward-facing dog is my favorite. So easy.
5. I think she's coming to adjust me. I hope I smell OK.
6. OH. It's not easy -- I was just doing it wrong.
7. Man, yoga goddess next to me in the Lululemon is downward-facing dogging like a pro.
8. How many times per week do I have to do this to get Jennifer Aniston's abs, again?
9. I wonder what Jennifer Aniston eats for breakfast.
10. I read that she eats bagels every weekend.
11. I kind of don't believe her.
12. They're definitely not New York-sized bagels, anyway.
13. Focus.
14. Did yoga goddess just look at my feet?
15. I was PLANNING to get a pedicure last weekend.
16. Focus.

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17. I'd be so much more into this if I could control the playlist.
18. When did Jason Mraz become the unofficial soundtrack for mainstream yoga sessions?
19. I could plank like a BOSS if The Black Keys were crooning to me.
20. Focus. 
21. YES -- Child's pose.
22. Crap -- Pigeon pose. 
23. OK, this isn't so bad this time. 
24. Oh, I'm doing it wrong. 
25. Well THIS is a position I would never voluntarily get into -- thank you, yoga!
26. How much longer?
27. Oof -- being a pigeon must suck.
28. How much longer?
29. I wonder why they call it pigeon pose. This doesn't look like any pigeon I've ever seen.
30. How much longer?
31. How much longer?
33. Gotta adjust my yoga pants.
34. I wonder if this twist gives me back fat.
35. This headband is about to fall off again.
36. Why do I even bother wearing a headband?
37. I wonder how long it took yoga goddess to craft her perfect French-braid headband.
38. Focus.
39. Calling it "chair pose" doesn't make it any less of a squat. 
40. I COULD find my balance if you'd quit telling me to find my balance -- so distracting!
41. Of course, yoga goddess is steady as a rock.
42. Lulu pants probably make you more flexible -- they'd better, for 80 bucks.
43. Did I remember to reapply deodorant?
44. Nope. I did not.
45. I bet yoga goddess never forgets to apply deodorant.
46. Focus.

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47. YES -- Child's pose.
48. Ugh, gotta adjust my yoga pants again. Maybe I should invest in Lulus.
49. Frog pose? That sounds cute and easy.
50. It's not. Noted.
51. Fiiinally -- nap time!
52. I wonder if I can say "shavasana" 10 times fast.
53. Shavasana, shavasana, shavasana, svoshna, shvosh…
54. Stop thinking!
55. I can't WAIT to eat dinner.
56. Stop thinking!
57. Did I remember to buy more olive oil?
58. Stop thinking!
59. Nap time OVER. Bummer.
60. What does "namaste" mean, exactly? It's fun to say.
61. Ahhh I feel so much more centered. And trendy.
62. I wonder if Jennifer Aniston wears Lululemon.